Tag Archives: office

Does management know their staff?

On walking into the company, the CEO noticed a young guy leaning Against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?” Without answering, the CEO took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here I pay people
for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months’ salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the CEO said in a very upset manner, “And that applies for everybody in this company”. He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who ’s the young man that I just fired ?”. To which an amazing reply came of, “He was the pizza delivery man, Sir!”

Project Managers…

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a Rs10,000 bet.

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people like weight-lifters, wrestlers, body builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and 5-6 drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living?

Are you a weight-lifter, or what?”
“No,” replied the man.

”I work as a project manager in a software company !! “

Life after death

BOSS said to an employee: “Do you believe in life after Death?

EMPLOYEE : “Certainly not! There ‘s no proof of it”, he replied.

BOSS : “Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral,

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

He came here looking for you.!”

Miscommunication

A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don’t have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk.

So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.

About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.

Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don’t always come out the way you want them to……..

attachment.jpg

Pages: Prev 1 2 3