Tag Archives: funny

Chinese Call Centre

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me.. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for
this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh …..God…. …

From –
Good Wan!

Gender designations

Many Romance Languages (Italian, Spanish, French) give even inanimate objects a gender. In Spanish, for example, this determines whether you use el or la in front of the noun. If English designated things as either male or female, here are a few of recommendations.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

COPIER:
Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there’s the hot air part.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female! Consider this: It gives a man pleasure. He’d be lost without it. And while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Rejected Dictionary Entries

ADULT :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL :
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS :
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE :
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST :
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST :
Someone me-deep in conversation

GOSSIPER :
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF :
Cold Storage.

INFLATION :
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO :
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN :
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET :
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON :
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE :
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW :
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN :
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES :
Something other people have. You have character lines.

Get the Answers…

1. Follow these steps and see if you can figure this out.

1) Get a brown, cardboard box.
2) Get purple, orange, and turquoise paints.
3) Paint the box orange.
4) Paint on purple spots.
5) Paint on turquoise stripes.
7) Turn it upside down.
8) Lie on your side.

What is missing from this sequence?

2. What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?

3. In a country, there are over 100 streets. Street 1 is named First Street, street 2 is named Second Street, and so on and so forth.

A traveller decides to walk through all these streets in the country. He could find all the streets except Street 62. No matter how hard he tried, he could not find it.

He later found that the locals had given the street another name.

What is the name?

Scroll Down for answers..

.

.

.

1.  Step 6 is missing.

2. CHICAGO

3/7 of Chicken is Chi

2/3 of Cat is Ca

2/4 of Goat is Go

3. Minute street. Sixty Second street = minute street

Talking Frog

A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,

“Pick me up.”

He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,

“Pick me up.” He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.

The man said, “Are you talking to me?”

The frog said, “Yes, I’m talking to you. Pick me up.

Then, kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have
ever seen.

I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride.”

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said?

I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.”

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

“Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

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