A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line… But the least romantic second line.
Here are some of the entries they received.
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “go to hell ”
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I’m good at telling lies !
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
A zebra is white with black stripes.
All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
The word “listen ” contains the same letters as the word “silent”.
The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it’s head are the rabbit and the parrot.
A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
India invented the Number System . Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
‘Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’ is the fear of long words.
Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of going to school.
Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias !!
It is impossible to lick your elbow. ( We know you gonna try this !!! )
A snail can sleep for 3 years. ( wow, lucky chap he ? )
The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start
In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust into the earth’s atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.
“Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
Electricity doesn’t move through a wire but through a field around the wire.
Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Say no evil ).
55 per cent of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn. Hello, zzzzz zzzz ?
A store that sells husbands has just opened in Johannesburg , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth!
A Collection of really funny ads
Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn’t come back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else?
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this “sludge” reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks – You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let’s be careful and be aware. The more we know the better chance we could survive.
It could save a life.