Rejected Dictionary Entries

ADULT :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL :
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS :
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE :
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST :
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST :
Someone me-deep in conversation

GOSSIPER :
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF :
Cold Storage.

INFLATION :
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO :
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN :
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET :
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON :
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE :
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW :
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN :
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES :
Something other people have. You have character lines.

The Blonde and the Heart Attack

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.

‘What’s up?’ she asks.

‘I think I’m having a heart attack,’ cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, ‘Mommy! Mommy! Aunty Shirley is hiding in your wardrobe and she’s got no clothes on!’

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

‘You rotten hussy,’ she screams. ‘My husband’s having a heart attack, and you’re running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!

Adam and God

After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her.

Adam began to ask questions about her.

Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful?

God: So you will always want to look at her.

Adam: Lord, her skin is so soft. Why did you make her skin so soft?

God: So you will always want to touch her.

Adam: She always smells so good. Lord, why did you make her smell so good?

God: So you will always want to be near her.

Adam: That’s wonderful Lord, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but why
did you make her so stupid?

God: So she would love you!!

Get the Answers…

1. Follow these steps and see if you can figure this out.

1) Get a brown, cardboard box.
2) Get purple, orange, and turquoise paints.
3) Paint the box orange.
4) Paint on purple spots.
5) Paint on turquoise stripes.
7) Turn it upside down.
8) Lie on your side.

What is missing from this sequence?

2. What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?

3. In a country, there are over 100 streets. Street 1 is named First Street, street 2 is named Second Street, and so on and so forth.

A traveller decides to walk through all these streets in the country. He could find all the streets except Street 62. No matter how hard he tried, he could not find it.

He later found that the locals had given the street another name.

What is the name?

Scroll Down for answers..

.

.

.

1.  Step 6 is missing.

2. CHICAGO

3/7 of Chicken is Chi

2/3 of Cat is Ca

2/4 of Goat is Go

3. Minute street. Sixty Second street = minute street

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