Funny definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Amazing Work with Toothpicks

A miniature city made out of millions of toothpicks

It took Stan Munro (38) 6 years to build this toothpick city. He used 6 million toothpicks and 170 liters of glue. He can spend until 6 months to create a building and each of his creations is built to 1:164 scale. He works at the Museum of Science and Technology in Syracuse, New York (USA). Look at the amazing works of one of the most patient men in the world.

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Chinese Call Centre

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me.. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for
this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh …..God…. …

From –
Good Wan!

Your most favourite blog?

Just try this.!
it’s really different…

This Maths Test can Predict Your favorite BLOG..
Try it without looking at the Answer.!

Pick 1 Favorite Number from 1-9
Then Use that Number
Multiply by 3.
Then Add 3, then
Multiply by 3 Again..
You’ll get a 2 digit no.
or a Three digit Number.
Add the digits.
Now with that Number
See which is your favorite blog from the List below :..

1. 2bloghumor.com
2. 15 Minute Lunch
3. boeingboeing
4. Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me
5. The Other Side of Normal
6. Bee’s Musings
7. Predator Press
8. Mattress Police – Antisocial Commentary
9. Fwdemails.com
10. The Dilbert Blog

Though I Knew it already,
Thank You.!
The truth finally comes out..

Why Wedding Ring Should Put On The Fourth Finger??

1)Firstly, show your palm, centre finger bend and put together back to back

2)Secondly, the rest 4 fingers tips to tips

3)Games begin, follow the below arrangement, 5 finger but only 1 pair can split

4)Try to open your thumb, the thumb represent parents, it can be open cause all human does go thru sick and dead. Which is our parents will leave us one day

5)Pls close up your thumb, then open your second finger, the finger represent brothers and sisters, they do have their own family which is too they will leave us too

6)Now close up your second finger, open up your little finer, this represent your children. Sooner or later they too will leave us for they got they own living to live

7)Nevertheless, close up your little finer, try to open your fourth finger which we put our wedding ring, you will be surprise to find that it cannot be open at all. Because it represent husband and wife, this whole life you will be attach to each other

Real love will stick together ever and forever

Thumb represent parents

Second finger represent brothers & sisters

Centre finger represent own self

Fourth finger represent your partner

Last finger represent your children.

Gender designations

Many Romance Languages (Italian, Spanish, French) give even inanimate objects a gender. In Spanish, for example, this determines whether you use el or la in front of the noun. If English designated things as either male or female, here are a few of recommendations.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

COPIER:
Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there’s the hot air part.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female! Consider this: It gives a man pleasure. He’d be lost without it. And while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

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