Category Archives: Misc

Chinese Call Centre

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me.. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for
this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh …..God…. …

From –
Good Wan!

Your most favourite blog?

Just try this.!
it’s really different…

This Maths Test can Predict Your favorite BLOG..
Try it without looking at the Answer.!

Pick 1 Favorite Number from 1-9
Then Use that Number
Multiply by 3.
Then Add 3, then
Multiply by 3 Again..
You’ll get a 2 digit no.
or a Three digit Number.
Add the digits.
Now with that Number
See which is your favorite blog from the List below :..

1. 2bloghumor.com
2. 15 Minute Lunch
3. boeingboeing
4. Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me
5. The Other Side of Normal
6. Bee’s Musings
7. Predator Press
8. Mattress Police – Antisocial Commentary
9. Fwdemails.com
10. The Dilbert Blog

Though I Knew it already,
Thank You.!
The truth finally comes out..

Gender designations

Many Romance Languages (Italian, Spanish, French) give even inanimate objects a gender. In Spanish, for example, this determines whether you use el or la in front of the noun. If English designated things as either male or female, here are a few of recommendations.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

COPIER:
Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

HAMMER: Male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

HOT AIR BALLOON: Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there’s the hot air part.

HOURGLASS: Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

KIDNEYS: Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

REMOTE CONTROL: Female! Consider this: It gives a man pleasure. He’d be lost without it. And while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

SHOES: Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

SPONGES: Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

SUBWAY: Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

TIRES: Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

WEB PAGE: Female, because it is always getting hit on.

ZIPLOC BAGS: Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Rejected Dictionary Entries

ADULT :
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR :
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL :
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS :
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE :
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST :
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST :
Someone me-deep in conversation

GOSSIPER :
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF :
Cold Storage.

INFLATION :
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO :
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN :
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET :
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON :
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE :
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW :
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN :
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES :
Something other people have. You have character lines.

The Blonde and the Heart Attack

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.

‘What’s up?’ she asks.

‘I think I’m having a heart attack,’ cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, ‘Mommy! Mommy! Aunty Shirley is hiding in your wardrobe and she’s got no clothes on!’

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

‘You rotten hussy,’ she screams. ‘My husband’s having a heart attack, and you’re running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!

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