Category Archives: funny

Funny and Interesting Places to Stay for a Vacation

Giraffe Manor is a luxurious and exclusive hotel located just outside Kenya’s capital, Nairobi, famous for its resident herd of giraffe.

Apart from the top accommodation, you can enjoy Nairobi’s finest kitchens and bump heads with a giraffe or two. According to their website, the Giraffe Manor is the only place in the world where you can enjoy the breathtaking experience of feeding and photographing the giraffe over the breakfast table and at the front door.

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Also located in Turkey is the Cappadocia Hotel, a building literally carved into the Yunak Evleri mountain cliff.
It offers cave houses, just like the Flintones had, and a 19th century Greek mansion – complete with 30 rooms dating back to the 5th and 6th century

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Mixing Turkish and European influence, the Marmara Antalya, in Antalya, Turkey, is Turkey’s most prestigious chain, taking pride in stunning views, great architecture and warm service. The exciting detail is that each of the two dozens room spins slowly so that guest take in the entire view.

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It’s not the comfort you’re usually accustomed with, but the dasparkhotel is an innovative hospitality tool many people are starting to enjoy. Located in Ottensheim, Austria, the offbeat hotel offers three 10-ton segments of drainage pipe, each 6.5 feet in diameter for you to stay in.

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His Diary, Her Diary

HER DIARY

Sunday night I thought he was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn’t flowing so I suggested that we  go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong – he said, “Nothing.”

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can’t explain his behavior; I don’t know why he didn’t say, “I love you, too.”

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do  with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched T.V.; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he got up and went to sleep on the sofa.

I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.

I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Today, we lost the football match.

Ready To Marry, Think Twice???

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

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The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?

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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

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“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

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“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”

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“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”

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“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.

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The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…

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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

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Love…….In Mental Hospital !!

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him.

She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound judgement that you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathro be belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Edna replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?

Things you will find only in America

1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America……do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.

10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

Think out of the Square

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them
instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately.OK?

Let’s find out just how clever you really are.

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?(scroll down for answer)
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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don’t take as much time as you took for the first question.
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Second Question:
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If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
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You’re not very good at this! Are you?
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Third Question:

Very tricky math!

Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000. Now add 10.

What is the total?
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Scroll down for answer.
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Did you get 5000?
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The correct answer is actually 4100.
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Don’t believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day.

Maybe you will get the last question right?
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Fourth Question:
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Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. (observe the pattern of letters)
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Answer: Nunu?
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NO! Of course not.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round:

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses! , how should he express himself?

Odd Short Test (40 seconds)

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can’t.

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is an cat

This is old cat

This is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I betcha you can’t resist passing it on

Evolution of the word SHIT

In the 16th and 17th centuries, before commercial fertilizer was invented, large shipments of manure were transported by ship. It was shipped in dry bundles because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet-but once water hit it at sea, it not only became heavier, but when the process of fermentation began, a byproduct which is methane gas was formed. It didn’t take long for methane to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before somebody figured out what was happening. Once they
determined the role that manure played in the explosions,

Everybody began stamping the bundles with the term “Ship High In Transit”, so that the sailors would
know to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not
touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.!

Thus evolved the term “S.H.I.T,” which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very
day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I.

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