Category Archives: funny

Online Chatting

Here is something interesting…

Our FRIEND(Hero) WAS chatting with a female – Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC’s

Hero : Hey…GM (Good Morning)… How’s u doing today?

Female: VGM…Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero : wow…am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep…me too feel the same…Brb (be right back)’ll get some Coffee.

Hero : OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero : [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?

Hero : I would do that, but I think it’s quite hard, is it ok with you,
if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window…)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero : cool, you know what my manager does, She’s kinda….. keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it’s the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero : Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero : *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it’s real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero : hey, that’s a one-hour’s work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT…. YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

What If We Lived Life Backwards??

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you’re too young to work.

You get ready for high school: drink alcohol, party, and you’regenerally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then…

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions – central heating, room service on tap…

Future Fireman

fire_man
A guy meets a childhood pal.

“What are you doing for yourself these days?”

“I’m a fireman.”

“Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.”

“Well, if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install in your house a pole that will go to the basement so your kid can practice, cause the hardest thing for a fireman is to jump off into space and catch that pole in the middle of the night.”

Ten years later, the two guys happen to meet again.

“Well, did your son become a fireman?”

“No, but I have two daughters who are “dancers.”

How to Safeguard your Ferrari when you are away

An Businessman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going out of country on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Businessman hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the guy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says,

“Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,  but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow “$5,000” ?

The Businessman replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'”

The Best Of The Worst

THE WORST HIJACKING

We shall never know the identity of the man who in 1976 made the most unsuccessful hijack attempt ever. On a flight across America, he rose from his seat,drew gun and took the stewardess hostage. “Take me to Detroit,” he demanded. “We’re already going to Detroit,” she replied.

“Oh … good,” he said, and sat down again.

THE WORST BANK ROBBERY

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors. They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone, sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff believed them.

When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke. Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor clutching his ankle. The other two tried to make their getaway, but got trapped in the revolving doors again.

10 Brain Teasers To Blow Your Mind

Teaser #1:
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the tallest mountain in the world?
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Mount Everest has always been the tallest mountain, even before being discovered!
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Teaser #2:
When you need it you throw it away, when you don’t need it you take it in.
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Answer #2:
A ship’s anchor
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Teaser #3:
Cathy has six pairs of black gloves and six pairs of brown gloves in her drawer. In complete darkness, how many gloves must she take from the drawer in order to be sure to get a pair that match? Think carefully!!
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Answer #3:
13. She could possibly take out 6 black left hand gloves and then 6 brown left hand gloves, the next one would have to be either the right hand or left hand match.
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Teaser #4:
If you can buy eight eggs for 26 cents, how many can you buy for a cent and a quarter?
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Answer #4:
Eight Eggs
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Teaser #5:
What kind of tables have no legs?
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Answer #5:
Timetable & Multiplication Table
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Teaser #6:
What is the first thing you do every morning?
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Answer #6:
Wake Up
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Teaser #7:
A brick weighs a pound and half a brick. How many pounds do two bricks weigh?
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Answer #7:
2 bricks weigh 2 lbs and a whole brick, therefore 2 bricks weigh 4 lbs.
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Teaser #8:
How long is a rope that is 2 yards shorter than another rope that is three times the length of the first rope?
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Answer #8:
If the length of the rope + 2 yards = 3 times the length of the rope, then the rope is 1 yard long.
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Teaser #9:
What is greater than god, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you will eventually die?
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Answer #9:
The word “Nothing”.
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Teaser #10:
As long as I eat, I live. When I drink, I die
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Answer #10:
Fire.

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