After an international beer conference in London, all the world’s top brewery bosses decide to go out for a beer together.
The Chairman of Budweiser says, “I’d like the most refreshing beer in the world, ‘The King Of Beers’: give me a Budweiser.”
The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and opens it for him .
The Chairman of Guiness says, “I’d like the only beer in the world worth really, truly waiting for: give me a Guinness.”
The bartender serves him.
The Chairman of Carlsberg says, ” I would like the world’s best beer, drunk in more countries than any other: give me a Carlsberg.”
He gets it.
Vijay Mallaya sits down, looks around and says, “Just give me a Coke.”
The bartender looks at him, shrugs, and serves him.
The other brewery bosses laugh loudly and say, “Hey Vijay, how come you aren’t drinking a Kingfisher?”
“Listen,” says Vijay Mallya, “If you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither will I”
The Photographers suffered severe injuries or never survived to look at the pics.
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
A zebra is white with black stripes.
All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.
Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.
The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs covering a meter a second.
The word “listen ” contains the same letters as the word “silent”.
The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it’s head are the rabbit and the parrot.
A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
India invented the Number System . Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.
The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.
A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.
India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.
‘Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’ is the fear of long words.
Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of going to school.
Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias !!
It is impossible to lick your elbow. ( We know you gonna try this !!! )
A snail can sleep for 3 years. ( wow, lucky chap he ? )
The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start
In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust into the earth’s atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.
“Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.
Electricity doesn’t move through a wire but through a field around the wire.
Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Say no evil ).
55 per cent of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn. Hello, zzzzz zzzz ?
CUP & COOKIES
Smart cup in which you can put 2-3 of your favourite cookies. You don’t need extra plates. It’s made for right handed and left handed.
But I wonder how one can prevent biscuits from falling down when sipping the tea. lol
BANANA GUARD – Protect Your Banana!
Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and storage individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.
Get it here
Lock Cup – Anti-Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup? Well now there’s a solution. The Lock – Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole.
PENGUIN TEA TIMER
Making tea, though easy to do, is also time consuming. Once you pour the hot water into the cup, you must patiently hover over it, waiting for the tea to steep. Well, the Penguin Tea Timer happily does the waiting for you.
Place your tea cup under the beak and set it to the desired time. As you turn the timer dial, the beak lowers the tea into the hot water. When time is up, a bell sounds and the penguin automatically lifts his beak, removing the tea bag from the water.
You love toast, but you always burn it? Than, this invention us for you.
This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the colour is right. This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.
One Click Butter Cutter controls your portion as an important part of staying healthy. This ingenious butter cutter delivers one standard pat with each click of the handle.
Get it here
Never lose your remote again!
With giant buttons, this extra-large remote is easy to use and impossible to lose. It’s a 6-in-1 remote so you can use it to control your TV, VCR, DVD player, satellite, cable and auxiliary A/V device. It even features glow-in-the-dark buttons, so you can easily find the remote in the dark.
What day is today? You don’t know? Then you need a DayClock. It’s uniquely designed to keep track of weekly events like your golf day, card night, movie night, and so much more. It’s ideal for vacations and cruises when it’s easy to lose track of the day.
CRIME SCENE TOWEL
Chalk outline crime scene beach towel – be the coolest person on the beach!
Laser ScissorsCutting a straight line has never been easier. Just aim the pin-point laser and follow the line. The scissor blades are stainless steel and cut very clean with a micro serrated edge.
TOILET SEAT LIFTER
‘Who left the Toilet Seat up?’ The PeaceMaker will end the battle of the toilet seat. Merely step on the pedal to activate the lifting mechanism. When finished, remove your foot from the pedal and the seat gently comes to a rest where it started.
ILUMINATING CAR SLIPPERS
Do you get up at night to drink water, go to the toilet…Do you wish you could see in the dark? Remarkably bright LED lights are triggered by your footsteps and light up the floor 30 feet in front of you; ultra-soft plush style are extra comfortable and cozy warm.
Get it here
“THE THING” – INFANT PILLOW
The Zaky is an ergonomic infant pillow designed by a mom to mimic the size, weight, touch, and feel of her hand and forearm to help her baby with comfort, support, protection, and development. The Zaky can help calm your baby and help your baby sleep better through the night.
TRAVELER’S PHRASE BOOK T-SHIRT
If you are traveling a lot and don’t always know the language of the country you are visiting, then this T-shirt is for you. It has a phrase book printed on it so just point a finger at the pictogram you need and then point it twice at the question mark, which means, “Where is it?” and in no time you have found what you were looking for… or not.
Get it here
Realy cool modern ladder.
LATEST DESIGN WAITER/WAITRESS TRAYS
Anatomic tray, for waiters. No more dropping trays. We just don’t know is it comfortable.
Whether you want to sit on the sun or in the shade, near the river or under the tree… now you have your movable bench, to sit wherever you like.