Category Archives: cool

Male and Female Procedures for Drive-in ATM

New sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without
leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for
your gender.’

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MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Unusual business idea on Portuguese travel market

As we all know more then 80% of information we receive through the eyes. If due to some reasons this channel is closed, then other organs of sense become much more sensible. We try to form a true notion of the world by using sense of touch, smell, hearing and taste. This well-known physiological fact was used to create a very special tourism product – sensorial walking tours in Lisbon, Portugal.

The tour presented by local travel agency Cabracega is called Sensorial Lisbon. Tourists get blindfolded and blind guides take them for a walk to Alfama district – the ancient part of the city. During the tour guide tells a story about Lisbon’s history and tourists carefully follow their feelings: catch the smell of fried sardines from street cafes, touch hot stone walls of ancient houses, taste local specialities in restaurant, lend an ear to a mysterious sounds of national song – fado etc.

Tour costs 120 EUR for 1.5 hour and you should order it in advance as groups are rather small – up to 10 persons. The idea is so innovative and tempting that these tours gained popularity not only among tourists, but also among local citizens. People enjoy unknown feelings and travel agency’s owners – growing profits!

Have You Seen Day And Night At Single Time?

THIS PHOTO IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. BE SURE TO READ THE TEXT BELOW TO HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT YOU ARE VIEWING. IT IS HISTORIC TOO AS THIS IS THE LAST MISSION FOR COLUMBIA ..

beautifulearth

The photograph attached was taken by the crew on board the Columbia during its last mission, on a cloudless day.
The picture is of Europe and Africa when the sun is setting.
Half of the picture is in night. The bright dots you see are the cities’ lights.

The top part of Africa is the Sahara Desert .

Note that the lights are already on in Holland , Paris , and Barcelona,
and that’s it’s still daylight in Dublin , London , Lisbon , and Madrid .

The sun is still shining on the Strait of Gibraltar . The Mediterranean Sea is already in darkness.

In the middle of the Atlantic Ocean you can see the Azores Islands;
below them to the right are the Madeira Islands ; a bit below are the
Canary Islands; and further South, close to the farthest western point of Africa , are the Cape Verde Islands.

Note that the Sahara is huge and can be seen clearly both during
day time and night time.

To the left, on top, is Greenland , totally frozen.

The Things Only Architects Can Do!!!

This is not our upside-down house

upsidedownhouse

Daniel Czapiewski designs the upside-down house in Poland

A Polish businessman and philanthropist says he has built this upside down house to remind people of wrongdoings against humanity. The house has been attracting thousands of tourists. People visiting the house start to feel sea-sick once they are inside. “Mankind spoiling this world, and only mankind can fix it…”, the owner of this new wonder said. The house took 5 times longer to build than a normal house.

It took 114 days to build the structure – a typical project made by Czapiewski’s cooperation which specializes in wooden houses, would normally take 21 days to construct. He remembers that his workers had to take an hour’s break every three hours while working inside the house because they were feeling disorientated and confused from the strange angles of the walls.

The upside down house is not the first unusual structure made or devised by Czapiewski. He is infamous for making the longest single piece of wood in the world – a Guinness World Record. Czapiewski also smuggled a complete antique house out of Russia. The house was built by Polish detainees sent in their thousands to desolate regions of Siberia by Russian Tsars in the eighteenth century. Because of its age, suspected to be over 240 years old, the Siberian house was officially an antique and therefore illegal to export.

The Air Car Without Fuel

car3

After fourteen years of reserch and development, Guy Negre has developed an engine that could become one of the biggest  technological advances of this century. Its application to CAT vehicles gives them significant economical and environmental advantages. With the incorporation of bi-energy (compressed air + fuel) the CAT Vehicles have increased their driving range to close to 2000 km with zero pollution in cities and considerably reduced pollution outside urban areas.

car2
As well, the application of the MDI engine in other areas, outside the automotive sector, opens a multitude of possibilities in nautical fields, co-generation, auxiliary engines, electric generators groups, etc. Compressed air is a new viable form of power that allows the accumulation and transport of energy. MDI is very close to initiating the production of a series of engines and vehicles. The company is financed by the sale of manufacturing licences and patents all over the world.

 

Tata Motors, in keeping with its role as the leading company in India for automotive R&D;, has signed an agreement, in yet another exciting engineering and development effort, with MDI of France for application in India of MDI’s path-breaking technology for engines powered by air.

 

Captain’s Welcome Address In-Flight

This is your captain Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of our Airlines.

We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather.

This is flight 717 to unsure Airport. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the country. And, if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!

Our Airlines has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to MEA Airlines, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.

Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.”

“Thanking you all for choosing our Airlines to fly for the first and last time”

Wish You a nice trip,
Captain

Car with Allergy to Vanilla Ice Cream ?

Never underestimate your Clients’ Complaint, no matter how funny it might seem!

This is a real story that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-Care Executive. Pls read on…..

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors:

‘This is the second time I have written to you, and I don’t blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of Ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we’ve eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It’s also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem…..

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won’t start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the
car starts just fine. I want you to know I’m serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds “What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?” The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter, but sent an Engineer to check it out anyway.

The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighborhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn’t start.

The Engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The
car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man’s car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to
continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data:time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavor. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store.Vanilla, being the most popular flavor, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavors were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavor.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn’t start when it took less time. Eureka – Time was now the problem – not the vanilla ice cream!!!! The engineer quickly came up with the answer: “vapor lock”.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavors allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapor lock to dissipate.

Even crazy looking problems are sometimes real and all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

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