Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn’t paid for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around! Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me… that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.
There was silence on the other end, so I just hung up, and I haven’t heard back from him. Guess I won that stupid argument.
The last day of Chinese New Year (its called Chap Goh Meh in Hokkien – a Chinese dialect) is also known as the Chinese Valentine’s Day. For most Malaysian Chinese, they knew well of this certain ritual that happens every year on this day. Originated from Penang, Malaysia, this interesting ritual involves tossing tangerine/mandarin oranges or bananas by the singles into the pond or sea or river or any place with water in hope that their future partner will pick up their fruits.
And this year in Malaysia, it was the most happening event for the single men and women in more than 3 places in the state of Selangor itself.
Yes, they literally throw the tangerines and bananas into the pond. Like this:
How does it work, you may wonder.
Well, its pretty simple actually, single women writes their names, phone numbers and some messages on tangerine oranges while the men does the same on bananas. Some women will write names and phone numbers while the more expressive ones will write messages, draw cute smileys or perhaps even their star sign.Men are probably more straight-to-the-point, minus the mushy messages.“See you”? Maybe on the other side is “I hope you will find me”.
So after the writing and tossing, the fruit fishing starts! And boy, they are so well prepared! Some brought long poles with net to fish out the fruits! Some of them brought a small note book or phones so they could fish out a few oranges or bananas and jot down the necessary details on it. Then they toss the fruits back to the pond! How clever.
There were three generals, one Chinese, an Iraqi, and a Turk. They were bragging about how good each of their armies were.
The Chinaman said, “My army would kill themselves for their country!”
Then he put a platoon in a little room and told them, “When this feather hits the floor I want all of you to shoot yourselves!”
He then went outside the room and five seconds later there were numerous gunshots and everyone in the room was dead.
Next came the Turkish General and he said the same thing to one of his platoons. About seven seconds later they heard gunshots and once again everyone was dead.
Finally came the Iraqi and he did the same to his platoon. Several seconds past and there were no gunshots. They decided to wait a little longer. Then several more seconds past and still no gunshots.
Finally they went in and the whole Iraqi platoon was on the floor blowing under the feather to keep it up.
Part of the Miniatur Wunderland is pictured here
A pair of twin brothers, Gerrit Braun and Frederik Braun, have spent nine years painstakingly putting together the world’s biggest train set in Hamburg, Germany – it spans an astonishing 1,150sqm and has almost six miles of track.
The mammoth set features detailed models of some of the world’s most famous landmarks, from the mountains of Switzerland to the hotels and casinos of Las Vegas. The ‘Miniatur Wunderland’ has six regions including America, Switzerland, Scandinavia, Germany and the Austrian Alps.
A man is quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
“What was that for?” he exclaims.
“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Jenny written on it”, she replies.
“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Jenny was the name of one of the horses I bet on”, he explains. She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house.
Three days later he is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asks why she had hit again.
Wife replies. “Your horse phoned”.
young man is in a tour bus with many seniors when he is tapped on his shoulder by an old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 10 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he can’t stand the curiosity anymore and asks the little old lady, “why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?”.
“We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth”, she replied.
The puzzled young man asks, “Why do you buy them then?”
The old lady replied, “We just love the chocolate around them.”
Won’t be a good idea to park here for too long
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, “And what starting salary are you looking for?”
The applicant said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The interviewer said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years – say, a red Corvette?”
The applicant sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the interviewer replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”