Author Archives: Satheesh.S

Wacky Defnitions!!! AWESOMEEEEE……………………..

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Learn a moral!!!

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw… They met with an accident and all three of
them died.

Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of
them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public
positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived
notions.

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English
test.

PVNR is asked to spell ” INDIA ” and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell ” ENGLAND ” and he too passes.

It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell ” CZECHOSLOVAKIA “.

Laloo protests that he doesn’t know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus
forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal
platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. He writes it easily and
passes.

Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN”. He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR…..”
Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren’t),he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take
any more tests.

PVNR is asked: “When did India get Independence ?”. He replied “1947” and
passed.

Advani is asked “How many people died during the independence struggle?”.

He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000
or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It’s Laloo’s turn now.






















Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died
in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.

Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE……..

Weird Facts…

? In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50
minutes!

? There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!

? The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad!

? The names of Popeye’s four nephews are Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye and Poopeye!

? A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel!

? A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!

? Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill!

? No piece of square dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half!

? Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!

? If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one
trillion!

New Way To Quit Smoking…

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The Patience Of A Saint

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her “no.” The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, “Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don’t be upset. It won’t be long.”

He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn’t have any, she began to cry. The mother said, “There, there, Ellen, don’t cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we’ll be checking out.”

The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today. The mother patiently said, “Ellen, we’ll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap.”

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. “I couldn’t help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen…”

The mother broke in, “My little girl’s name is Tammy… I’m Ellen.”

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