Author Archives: Rajkumar

Even More Sardar Jokes

A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up.

U know y?

FORM say “FILL UP IN CAPITAL”

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A Sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.

Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.

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Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

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19 SARDARS WENT FOR AN ADULT FILM. ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18.

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A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?

He said “SMILE PLEASE”

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Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.

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Sardar gets ready, wears tie,coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Sardar: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”

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Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.

WHY?

Because his doctor advised him “Todays dinner should be light”

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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It”s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

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Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don’t have a daughter!

At 25flr:I’m unmarried!

At 10flr:I’m Banta not santa

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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: “Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!

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A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.

He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”

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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….

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What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

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Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says… Drink quickly……
Wife asks why…
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

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Sardar’s wish :when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

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Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.

Beauty of Math

1 x 8 + 1 = 9

12 x 8 + 2 = 98

123 x 8 + 3 = 987

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11

12 x 9 + 3 = 111

123 x 9 + 4 = 1111

1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111

12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111

123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111

1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111

12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88

98 x 9 + 6 = 888

987 x 9 + 5 = 8888

9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888

98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888

987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888

9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888

98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn’t it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1

11 x 11 = 121

111 x 111 = 12321

1111 x 1111 = 1234321

11111 x 11111 = 123454321

111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this…

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:

If :

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as :

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If :

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But :

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

So Trust in GOD than everything else.

Arrested for laughing!

This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several
months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he
seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he
burst out laughing…… She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he
acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing
she was pregnant.. She sat under an advertisement, which read:
‘ComingSoon: The Gold Dust Twins’.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement,
which read: ‘William’s Stick Did The Trick’.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she
sat under an advertisement, which read:
‘Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’

The case was dismissed!

Student Vs Professor

After having failed his exam in “Logistics and Organization “, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”

Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.

If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an “A” for the exam. “

Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal? “

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical .”