Author Archives: pradeep

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Sherry.
2nd woman: Hi! I’m Sylvia. How’d you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy  & finally died a peaceful death.  What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch
him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic & searched, & down into the basement.

Then I went through every closet & checked under all the beds.  I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, & finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack & died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the
freezer—we’d both still be alive.

A Marvellous Answer By Doctor

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,”Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute.”

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? ”

The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic…..

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He said: “Try to do it when the engine is running”. :)

I know the whole truth

One day a classmate told little Timmy that most adults have at least one dark secret and that they can be easily blackmailed simply by saying, I know the whole truth.

Timmy decided to try it out. He went home and when his mother greeted him, he frowned and said, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly handed him $20 and said, Just don’t tell your father This worked so well for Timmy that he decided to see what he could get from his father.

When his father got home,Timmy greeted him at the door and said,I know the whole truth. His father promptly handed him $50 and said, Please don’t tell your mother

Very pleased, Timmy headed out the door to school the next day when he ran into the mailman. He greeted the mailman with his new phrase, I know the whole truth.

The mailman dropped his mail, opened his arms, and said, Then come give your daddy a big hug.

Linda Wolfe – Most Married Woman

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American grandmother Linda Wolfe has become “the most married woman in the world” after walking down the aisle 23 times, and is now “on the lookout for number 24”.

Mrs Wolfe, 68, is included in the Guinness Book of World Records for the dubious honour of being wed more times than anyone else alive. She has said that she is “addicted to the romance” of getting married.

Born Linda Lou Taylor, the American first married in 1957 aged 16, to a 31-year-old called George Scott. The union lasted for seven years, the longest and happiest of any of her marriages. Since then things have tended to go downhill. Over the subsequent decades she married a one-eyed convict, a preacher, barmen, plumbers and musicians.

Two turned out to be homosexual, two were homeless and one beat her. Another put a padlock on her fridge.
One marriage lasted just 36 hours because “the love wasn’t there”. But Linda, from Indiana, once married the same man, Jack Gourley, three times. She has had seven children by her different husbands and been a stepmother to many more.

Her last marriage, a decade ago, was a publicity stunt. It was to Glynn Wolfe, who in taking Linda as his bride meant he was the world’s most married man, at 29 times. He died a year later aged 88. Consequently she said that she was “on the lookout for number 24”.

She told The Sun: “It’s been years since I walked down the aisle. I miss it.” The serial bride, who now lives in a retirement home, said she had never cheated on a husband. She said if she had her life over again she would “never, ever” marry so many men.

Christmas gifts

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…”

“I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…”

“I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.”

To which the little brother replied,

“No, but Grandma is!

New Throat Microphone

This should be in our Cool Inventions list

Micro Phone

This throat mic is used mainly by tactical assault groups and SWAT teams, throat microphones are something you rarely see on the street. This will change now with Sanwa’s latest hands free system, a Japanese phone design based on a military throat microphone.

It might not be used all the time, but if you work in a noisy environment it could greatly improve a phone conversation.

Micro Phone

When you have your collar on, People might think you are talking to yourself 😉

Longest Ear Hair Record Holder

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A man in northern India has been recognized by Guinness World Records as having the world’s longest ear hair.

The tufts coming out of the man’s ears measured more than 5 inches when he set the record in 2003. The hair has now grown to nearly 10 inches. In fact, the hair is so long he has to shampoo and comb it. He was granted a certificate from Guinness to certify him as the record-holder.

However, he complained that too many people consider his feat foolish and said the Indian government isn’t treating him with the respect he deserves as a world record-holder.

Also check out the longest hair pics here

Using The Work Telephone

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting…

On a Saturday morning…

after breakfast…

Dad: People this is unacceptable.

You have to limit the use of the phone.

I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here,

I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too,

I never use the home phone.

I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So – what is the problem?

We all use our work telephones !!!!!

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