Author Archives: poorna

Does management know their staff?

On walking into the company, the CEO noticed a young guy leaning Against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?” Without answering, the CEO took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here I pay people
for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months’ salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a Few onlookers, the CEO said in a very upset manner, “And that applies for everybody in this company”. He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who ’s the young man that I just fired ?”. To which an amazing reply came of, “He was the pizza delivery man, Sir!”

Project Managers…

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a Rs10,000 bet.

The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people like weight-lifters, wrestlers, body builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and 5-6 drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and asked the little man, “What do you do for a living?

Are you a weight-lifter, or what?”
“No,” replied the man.

”I work as a project manager in a software company !! “

Every country is different!

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand Out Of Window…
You Are in SYDNEY …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Horn…
You Are in JAPAN …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Newspaper,
Foot Solidly On Accelerator…
You Are in BOSTON …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Both Hands On Steering Wheel,
Eyes Shut,
Both Feet On Brake,
Quivering In Terror
You Are in NEW YORK …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Both Hands In Air,
Both Feet On Accelerator,
Head Turned To Talk To Someone In Back Seat…
You Are in ITALY …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

One Hand On Horn,
One Hand On Holding Gear,
One Ear Listening To Loud Music,
One Ear On Cell Phone,
One Foot On Accelerator,
One Foot On Clutch,
Nothing On Brake,
Eyes On Females In Next Car,