Author Archives: mysqld

God could be funny too!

A man was praying to god.

He said, “God?”

God responded, “Yes?”

And the Guy said, “Can I ask a question?”

“Go right ahead”, God said.

“God, what is a million years to you?”

God said, “A million years to me is only a second.”

The man wondered.

Then he asked, “God, what is a million dollars worth to you?”

God said, “A million dollars to me is a penny.”

So the man said, “God can I have a penny?”

And God cheerfully said,

“Sure!…….just a second.”

Definition For Panda

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts,

“Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn’t pay for your sandwich!”

The panda yells back at the manager, “Hey man, I’m a PANDA! Look it up!”

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

“A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

The FAX

A guy is sitting in a bar talking to his hand. The bartender asks him what he’s doing and the guy says, “I’m using the telephone.”

The bartender looks at him as if he’s crazy and says, “No, you aren’t, you are just talking in your hand.”

The guy says, “No, I really am having a phone conversation–I had a micro chip and transmitter installed in my hand last week.”

The bartender shrugs and goes about his business. A few minutes later the guy disappears into the bathroom and he’s gone about forty-five minutes. The bartender starts to get worried so he goes into the men’s room to see if the guy is okay.

When he gets there, he finds the guy standing in the middle of the bathroom with both hands in the air, his pants down around his ankles and a roll of toilet paper stuck in his butt crack. The bartender is flabbergasted and so he asks,

“What are you doing now?”

The guy replies, “I’m waiting for a fax.”

Basic cultural differences

Basic cultural differences (viva Europa!)

the American …it is all business…he looks far away, his attention undisturbed

the Canadian…a little distracted and naive

the French and the Italian are looking at one thing only….

cultural

Pages: Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 27 28 29 Next