Author Archives: mysqld

Laughter is an instant vacation

” Laughter is an instant vacation”
–Merlin Berke

***************

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

***************

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

***************

Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give you a job. I don’t need much help.
Job Applicant: That’s all right. In fact I’m just theright person in this case.

You will see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!

***************

Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

***************

Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.

***************

Diner: You’ll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don’t expect to walk there, do you?

***************

Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did , I still got mine with me!

***************

Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it
Within three days, you can keep it.

***************

Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

Un-Invited guests

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea.

He turned to the crowd of guests and said “Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?” about twenty people stood.

Then he asked ” Will those who are from the groom side of the family stand up as well?” about twenty five people stood up.

The he smiled and said

“Will all those who stood please leave, This is a birthday party”.

Fairy Tale – Pebble Story

Many years ago in a small Indian village,

fairytale.jpg

A farmer had the misfortune Of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender.

The Moneylender , who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer’s beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer’s debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter.

He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would Have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer’s field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.

The girl’s dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses

The above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did ….

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked.”

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don’t Attempt to think.

Most romantic first line, least romantic second line

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line… But the least romantic second line.

Here are some of the entries they received.

*********

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe “go to hell ”

*********

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

*********

Oh loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face

*********

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not

*********

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don’t take that paper bag off of your face

*********

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes –

Damn, I’m good at telling lies !

*********

*********

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That’s why I always wake up screaming

*********

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way

Pages: Prev 1 2 3 ... 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 Next