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Distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”

Distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”

Medical Distinctions

We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below…

GUTS – is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS – is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: “You’re next.”

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking , there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

Poetic Resignations

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

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The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don’t know if I should stay.

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To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

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My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don’t know if I should stay.

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The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

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This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.

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The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

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Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don’t know if I should stay!

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The managers don’t know what they talk
The team doesn’t know where they walk

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That’s a bad situation, what say?
I don’t know if I should stay.

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I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

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I can’t keep switching day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.

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The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

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No more will I walk their way,
It’s all done, I won’t stay.

Perks of Being over 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

4. People call at 9pm and ask, ” Did I wake you ????”

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4pm.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience. Forward this to every one you can remember

Men Vs Women

Difference between men and women

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

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3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

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4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

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5. There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman- before and after marriage.

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6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

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