Author Archives: Krithi

Just have a look what they have created in a desert…

Just have a look what they have created in a desert…

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The Jebel Hafeet Mountain Road in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) is the greatest driving road in the world. Stretching for 7.3 miles and climbing nearly 4,000 feet, it boasts 60 corners and a surface so smooth that it would flatter a racetrack. It could easily be described as the eighth wonder of the world, but almost nothing is known about its creation.

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The road is cut into the Jebel Hafeet Mountain , the highest peak in the United Arab Emirates , the oil-rich Persian Gulf state. The mountain spans the border with Oman and lies about 90 minutes’ drive southeast of the thriving city of Dubai . It looks down upon a dusty, desert landscape that belies a nation of astonishing wealth .

Being Positive.. A wonderful perspective

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip”?

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live? The father asked.

“Oh yeah.” said the son.

“So tell me, what did you learn from the trip? Asked the father.

The Son answered:

“I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our Garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added. “Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.”
Isn’t perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don’t have.

BATHTUB TEST

It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No.” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Kida !!!

Generation Y continues to impress

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.

While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic !

1. Don’t change horses …….until they stop running.

2. Strike while the ………………………..bug is close.

3. It’s always darkest before ……Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of …………termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but ……..how?

6. Don’t bite the hand that ……………..looks dirty.

7. No news is ……………………………………impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a …………Mr.

9. You can’t teach an old dog new …………… math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll …………..stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ………….. me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ………………. pigs.

13. An idle mind is ………….the best way to relax.

14. Where there’s smoke there’s …………….. pollution.

15. Happy the bride who …………gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is ………………….not much.

17. Two’s company, three’s ………….. the Musketeers.

18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what ………. you put on to go to bed.

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ………..you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as …………Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ……………spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don’t succeed ………get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you …….see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind …. get out of the way.

And the WINNER and the last one…

25. Better late than ………….pregnant! __._,_.___

Action and Reaction !!!

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
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A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
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Write It Down!

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor’s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asks, “Where are you going?”

He replies, “To the kitchen.” She asks, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”

He replies, “Sure.” She then asks him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”

He says, “No, I can remember that.”

She then says, “Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you’ll forget that.”

He says, “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”

She replies, “Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.”

With irritation in his voice, he says, “I don’t need to write that down! I can remember that.” He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says angrily: “I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!”

The School Answering Machine

The School Answering Machine

This is the actual answering machine message for a school.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework.

The outgoing message:

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work – Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at staff members – Press 4

To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8

To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it.

Saying The Right Thing

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… What happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”

His son replies, “Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, “Leave me alone, I’m married!!”

Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

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