1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing,. Its called the stock market – Jay Leno
2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are?? Wall Street is now being called Wal Mart Street – Jay Leno
3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW
4. What’s the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!
5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing’s right and on the right side nothing’s left.
6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show, if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it’s a scam. Don’t fall for it – Jay Leno
7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his favorite candy bar – Jay Leno
8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush’s copy is even thicker. They had to include pictures – Jay Leno
9. President Bush’s response was to meet some small business owners in San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors, General Electric and Century 21 – Jay Leno
10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped ‘insufficient funds’. I won’t know whether that refers to mine or the banks.